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I have been selected to participate in a scientific study on the relationship between brassieres and the incidence of breast cancer in women. Needless to say I'm in the control group." So I see, Mr. Smith. May I inquire as to the extent and scope of this experiment." Of course, Mr. Jones. Because of encouragement from the rest of the staff we have expanded it to include an animal study. In a stunning show of interdepartmental harmony, Mrs. Wilson of the home economics department has her students sewing little bitty bras for several rats. They did quail a bit at the thought of designing brassieres with six cups apiece, but we realized each rat could serve as it's own control by only using two breasts for testing." Brilliant, Mr. Smith. I assume the Biology department supplied the, uh, test animals." No, Mrs. Tweed of the cafeteria staff had a far better supply of rats than the biology department." A fine method of saving the taxpayer's money, Mr. Smith. How long is this course of. And yet, taking the lives of fourteen men in three days didn't faze me very much. In view of our losses which were light when compared to other units, I viewed what I did as self preservation. I had to take them out before they took me. I was flown to Washington DC where I joined up with my parents and the President presented me with the Medal of Honor. I was asked to take a publicity tour but when I begged off and asked to be returned to my unit they compromised. I had a five city tour and eight speech and then was returned to my unit.I lived a charmed life over there. I had reached a point where life, including my own, didn't mean much. I actually relished the opportunity to kill enemy soldiers. There were atrocities that Charlie committed that made me want to take them all out. I managed to construct a personal code of ethics that allowed my hatred of the Vietnamese to extend only to the enemy. Once, a Vietnamese girl, probably twelve or thirteen years old, came around the corner.
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